Poop-tastrophy

I have 3 kids, only one of whom is nominally potty trained. So I deal with a lot of poop. Literally and figuratively. Just stop here if you don't want to hear about real poop.
All of my kids are/were cloth diapered. 99% of the time I love that. I don't have issues with the poop (or at least any that I wouldn't also have with disposables) and I don't mind the laundry too much.
Today, though, was one of the 1%.
Came home to a poopy diaper that my mom left for me to rinse. No big deal...will deal with that later. Needed to start dinner. Bee is screaming. Try to feed her. Notice an ominous smell and realize she is not hungry. I should mention here that both of my diapered kids are teething, which makes the diapers that much worse. Put Bee down and start to change her.Not the worst ever, the diaper contained the poop. As I am getting her cleaned up, G-man starts screaming. I turn to see what is wrong. It takes me a moment to comprehend what I ask seeing. Then I realize... That its poop in his hand. From his sister's diaper.
I kept it together enough to make sure that Bee had on a clean diaper before taking G-man up to the bath. Carefully. He still got poop on his shirt and the outside of his diaper. I quickly decide that putting him in the tub first then undressing him would be the best route. G-man disagrees. There its now poop all over the side of the tub. Get to his diaper, and realize G-man is poopy, too. Teething poopy. I forgo the bath at this point and just go for the hand held sprayer. Thank goodness CPS didn't walk in. G-man slips, is laying in the tub screaming. Bee and Elf are downstairs unattended also screaming. There is poop on the carpet and the tub. There are three poopy diapers in the bathroom sink. Dinner didn't get made.
Oh, and as soon as I finish spraying off G-man, he pees. But no biggy. He is still standing in the tub.