Can I just ask...

For people to stop complimenting my kids?
I don't mean this in a bad way. There are times when it is great for a child to hear a compliment. Particularly when it involves something they can control. Like telling Ellie that she listened really well, or that I am proud of her for not throwing a fit when her playdate ended.
But then there are the compliments that I commonly get when I am in public with my kids. At the heart of this is the most common:
I get told, at least weekly, how beautiful Brenna's hair is. But here is the deal. Most of the time, when someone says this, my children are right in front of me. Meaning that not only is Brenna sitting in the cart or the stroller, but Ellie is holding my hand or skipping along side.

 Does Brenna have beautiful hair? Yes. She has curls like I have never seen before. They amaze me, particularly because my hair is so straight that it runs the other direction at the mere thought of curls. But Ellie has beautiful hair too. It is straight, just like mine, but golden blonde, just like her daddy's. She doesn't have the stand out curls that Brenna does, and so she rarely gets told, while waiting in line at Target, or shopping at the mall, or playing at the museum, how beautiful her hair is.
And Ellie, she is bright. She doesn't miss a thing. And as she gets older, she has started asking hard questions, like, "Why am I so small?" (She is my Elf, and is so beautifully petite) and "Why does Brenna have curly hair and I have hair like yours?" While she is bright, try explaining genetics to a five year old. Let alone, explaining why people compliment her sister in public, but not her.

I know people don't mean harm. I do know how amazing Brenna's curls are. I know that while Brenna, at 2, still has that cherubic cuteness of a toddler, while Ellie is growing into that awkward phase between toddler and girl. I also know how bright and sensitive Ellie is. How much she craves approval. How sweet she is, and how helpful (when she wants to be), how smart she is, and how much I love her questions, even when they annoy the heck out of me.

But the thing is, people don't see that. When I have four kids in the stroller or at the park, what stands out is Brenna's curls. But just remember, my kids can hear you, and when you compliment just one of them, for something she can't even control (and will probably despise when she gets older!) the other three are still listening, and maybe wondering, why is my hair not beautiful?

The first snow of 2014

Last night it snowed about 2-3" just enough for the kids to think they should go out and play in it. We missed the first real snow since we were in CA for Christmas. It is maybe 11* out, not including windchill.
I manage to entertain the kids for a while, we paint and play in the basement, have a snack.

Then Greg asks for his boots, and after that, it is just a matter of time until they get to melt-down state over the snow outside. Ellie is complaining that if we wait any longer, the snow is going to melt. No amount of discussion can convince her that this is not, indeed, going to happen.

So. I get out snowpants. Three pairs. And three pairs of mittens. And three parkas. Three hats. And a towel. We go downstairs. Everyone takes a potty break. I put snowpants on two kids, and there is only one minor meltdown over pushing mittens through the coat sleeve. Then I smell it. Brenna has pooped. OK, go get a diaper, and MY coat, mittens, hat and boots. Which I had forgotten the first go round. Change diaper. Apply snowpants, mittens, boots, hats. Have you ever put mittens on a two year old? Too old for the thumb-less mitss, to young to understand that her thumb has its own spot.

Go outside. (And pray that 9 month old doesn't start screaming about being abandoned to his play area)

Move giant branches that are in the sledding path. Put Brenna's mittens back on. Sled down the hill once. Pull Brenna back up the hill, since she can't get out of the sled on her own. Put Brenna's mittens back on. Push Greg down hill. Pull sled back up. Put Brenna's mittens back on. Repeat the sled routine twice more. Move other branch in the yard. Push Greg down "big" side of the hill. Rescue Brenna from on top of the play structure. Put mittens back on. Throw ball for dog about 10 times. Clean off Little Tikes car for Brenna. Extract her from the car when she realizes it won't roll in the snow. Push kids down the "big" hill. Make snow angels. Realize that Brenna needs a different pair of mittens that will actually stay on. 

Bring everyone inside. Strip off boots, coats, hats, mittens (with kids generally acting as if they are having seziure like activity, trying to shake off boots, and screaming for totally irrational things, like needing a stuffed toy while in the middle of getting undressed. 

Shoo off kids to play for a bit.
And then they start asking: Can we have hot chocolate??? Can we make snow ice cream???
Sure. Why the heck not?