Can I just ask...

For people to stop complimenting my kids?
I don't mean this in a bad way. There are times when it is great for a child to hear a compliment. Particularly when it involves something they can control. Like telling Ellie that she listened really well, or that I am proud of her for not throwing a fit when her playdate ended.
But then there are the compliments that I commonly get when I am in public with my kids. At the heart of this is the most common:
I get told, at least weekly, how beautiful Brenna's hair is. But here is the deal. Most of the time, when someone says this, my children are right in front of me. Meaning that not only is Brenna sitting in the cart or the stroller, but Ellie is holding my hand or skipping along side.

 Does Brenna have beautiful hair? Yes. She has curls like I have never seen before. They amaze me, particularly because my hair is so straight that it runs the other direction at the mere thought of curls. But Ellie has beautiful hair too. It is straight, just like mine, but golden blonde, just like her daddy's. She doesn't have the stand out curls that Brenna does, and so she rarely gets told, while waiting in line at Target, or shopping at the mall, or playing at the museum, how beautiful her hair is.
And Ellie, she is bright. She doesn't miss a thing. And as she gets older, she has started asking hard questions, like, "Why am I so small?" (She is my Elf, and is so beautifully petite) and "Why does Brenna have curly hair and I have hair like yours?" While she is bright, try explaining genetics to a five year old. Let alone, explaining why people compliment her sister in public, but not her.

I know people don't mean harm. I do know how amazing Brenna's curls are. I know that while Brenna, at 2, still has that cherubic cuteness of a toddler, while Ellie is growing into that awkward phase between toddler and girl. I also know how bright and sensitive Ellie is. How much she craves approval. How sweet she is, and how helpful (when she wants to be), how smart she is, and how much I love her questions, even when they annoy the heck out of me.

But the thing is, people don't see that. When I have four kids in the stroller or at the park, what stands out is Brenna's curls. But just remember, my kids can hear you, and when you compliment just one of them, for something she can't even control (and will probably despise when she gets older!) the other three are still listening, and maybe wondering, why is my hair not beautiful?